Blogging again :o)

Sorry - I'm a big slacker. Actually, last week I was merely concentrating on finishing my new dress for ren faire as I had to wear it for the Race for a Cure that J and I did. It was a blast. :o)

Anyway, my new long-ish term goal is to lose at least 10 pounds by my vacation on June 30th. I'd love to make it 15 and will certainly try but I tend to over-shoot my goal numbers and then I never reach them and I get discouraged. I'm ready to actually meet a goal. I'm tired of being disappointed in myself.

I was looking at my "wall of inspiration" last night and noticed that I am at the same weight now that I was 1 year ago. It's so frustrating because I have been trying so hard. Granted, I had gained a lot then lost it again in that year, but I'm still at the same place overall.

I'll post a new weekly goal either Friday or Monday. I've had a bad diet and exercise week so far. I weigh in for my Biggest Loser Club challenge on Friday so I'll have an official weight then.

Out of the shadows

Yes, it's really me. I'm stepping out of the shadows to actually write something here again. I realized just how much I miss my J's as I read their ever-so-eloquent words on their blogs. I wish we could walk in our woods and chat about the meaning of life and other such musings. And who knows - we might just find a swollen stream whose stepping logs have washed away that might give us an adventurous challenge. ;o)
I'm so very glad it's spring! I don't think I could take another week of winter without getting seriously depressed. Michigan is so weird like that - on the first sunny day we had after a long spell of freezing cold, bleak, cloudy winter, people were in such good moods! It's amazing how much the sun has an effect on us. Happy endorphins :o)

Well, I suppose I should give an update. Nothing much has changed. Dad and I have been steadily going to weight watchers and he has lost 35 pounds and I've lost only about 15. I'm so proud of him and he looks great! I've come to the conclusion that I am addicted to food. It's a challenge for me to stop eating even when I am full. It's something I am trying to conquer. Please pray for me!! I need help.

All this spring weather is getting me in the mood for Renaissance festival. Oh! There's news there, for those that haven't heard yet. My Dad and I are going to be merchants for a weekend this year and sell our homemade candles. Friar Jim's candles is the name of our little shop. So we are going to be madly cranking out lots of candles here this spring. It'll be so fun to be there as a merchant! I can't wait! Oh... and if anyone has a canopy/gazebo/pavilion we could use, that would be grand!!

Happiness

Life is good. Really, I'm happy. Overall that is. Work is still stressful - especially Monday. Man, the doctor brought me to tears, I was so frustrated! Anyway, this about being happy, not frustrated.
I am finally taking the time for me that I need to. My Dad and I joined the weight watchers meetings last wednesday. We are paid up for 13 weeks and going every week together. Our first weigh-in is tomorrow and I think it's going to be good. I'll try and keep updates posted here. So the diet is good. And I have been taking the time to work out every day. It's been so good! I feel great! (aside from being sick, that is - bleh!) I bought The Biggest Loser workout DVD and have been doing the 6 week program. It's excellent! I totally feel like my body is changing already, though you can't really see it yet. I'm so happy. I love it when I actually take the time to do what I need to do.
I think I just came to the point that I needed to stop everything non-essential in my life and re-assess my situation to see why I wasn't happy and I found 2 major things I couldn't deal with anymore: First, of course - my weight and lack of health. I'm sick of living with the guilt of eating poorly and not exercising. Second, my utter chaos in the basement that is the tornado resulting from having too many belongings in a small space. So I am cleaning and downsizing - already I've taken 5 bags to goodwill. It's lovely. My own space will soon be done and organized and spectacular...who knows, mayble I'll post some cool pictures of it :o)
I'm feeling pretty good. I turn 27 in a week and I'm actually excited about it. I've heard 27 is a good year and it especially will be for me, I'm sure of it.

There's something to be said for romantic comedies.

Today I felt terrible. My sister and I were woken up by a screaming baby pretty much on the hour, every hour last night because we were babysitting Allie, our niece, who is coming down with a cold and having trouble breathing through her congested nose and sucking on a binky at the same time (ah, those simple infant trials and tribulations). Anyway, needless to say, I was tired and my sister was sick and I felt like I was getting sick today too. I had a migraine for most of the day today until my Dad prayed for me and it went away. (Blessedly!)

So, I've been really, really depressed lately. Seriously. It's weird. I've just not been happy with my life at all. One iota. I'm in debt, still living with my dad (but that's a unique situation anyway because he doesn't want to live alone here and he doesn't want to move and if I move, my sister will move in here and rent her house out and that would just be weird and she would really feel like an old maid then and this is now a run-on sentence just for you, Jana, dear. ;o). Back to my list: I haven't been successful in my weightloss and haven't heard from The Biggest Loser yet, I feel far away from God, but I'm not really trying to be close, just to be honest, and I'm not happy at work because I feel like I'm being judged and come up short all the time.

But today I decided I would watch a good movie. I've been wanting to watch Return to Me for a while now, and so I did. I turned the fire on, made a bowl of soup, grabbed a blanket and curled up on the couch for the movie. It was so therapeutic! I enjoyed watching someone else mourn and cry and recover and live and love. It was great (even though it was fiction). Just wanted to say that I'm happy right now and hopeful. :o)

One crappy day (pardon my French)

Well, I found out today at work that I have been training my replacement. I am being cut down to part time and put in a different position. I am sooooo irked! I HATE how this office deals with personnel. Let me give you a hint for the future: never work for a close-knit community business unless you know people there first. I swear I am being picked on and cut down for the stupidest reasons! They say I don't have "a sense of urgency." That is their one complaint about me. Dr. Andersen (the doc I work with) said that was his one issue with me. He said he wanted to work a little faster...well, most of the time I am waiting for him because he is going so slowly. Ugh! I'm just frustrated. I don't know what to do. As of mid-September, I am a part time employee. So, I am looking for something else here in town and trying to see God's plan in it. (hopefully this is one of the puzzle pieces needed for me to go to the Biggest Loser - who knows? I would much rather have been able to just give my 2 weeks notice than be cut back, but oh well...)

On top of that little piece of loveliness (notice the sarcasm oozing from the keyboard), Char Scott's funeral was today and her circumstances were much like my Mom's, so this opens a new wound for my family. We are all pretty touchy right now. And school starts on Monday, so my Dad and sis are madly running to get things accomplished in time. It's stressful to say the least. I spent a good 3 hours helping put up a bulletin board at the school.

*sigh* Venting is wonderful. Thanks for reading my vent. I'm off to bed because I have to go work tomorrow. It's my saturday. Perhaps I'll escape to the ren fest by myself. That might be a nice thing.

The song

So, today I called in a prescription to Rite Aid for a patient and was put on hold...that hardly ever happens. But guess what song was playing! It was the theme song from The Biggest Loser: "What have you done today to make you feel proud?!" It's a sign! Of what you may ask....well, that I don't know, but still - I think it was cool. And hopefully I'll hear from the bigwigs at NBC soon.

To my fan base (haha!) :

I am desperately sorry for my absence from my blog. As I warned in the beginning, I am not so good at this. However, thanks to your persistence in pestering me to write, I have returned. Aren't you so happy? :o)

I have enjoyed 2 separate Renaissance Faires since I last wrote here. The first being the final day of our beloved Silverleaf (yes, we may all shed a tear for we will not see her again until next year). However, I do have some pictures posted of my day spent wandering among the most interesting breed of people that you find at ren faires. They are posted in my very own album on webshots.com....let see if I can get a link for you....ah, yes....here it is... oop..nevermind....laptop is being stupid....so, go to webshots.com and search for sarieeq and it should pull up my silverleaf pics automatically. Ooh...just figured out how to put some on here...splendid!! haha!



Well, I did have a wonderful time this past weekend at the opening day to the Michigan Renaissance Festival. Though, I must say, it isn't nearly as good as Silverleaf anymore. Congrats to all the bigwigs at SLRF for taking the cake from MIRF! I totally missed the Knights of Iron! They added so much to MRF in the past years, their absence is sorely noticed now. The cast of MRF are now doing the human combat chess between England and Spain. They have included pawns on the board as well as all the good pieces, and many of those are maypole dancers, so there's a lot of the "ooh...I'm too afraid to fight! - run off the board and hide." And, let me tell you, after about 2 of those, the routine gets old. Also, they need a lot of practice with their combat. Granted, it was the first day, so I'm sure it will get better, but I still miss KOI desperately. Overall, the faire was lovely and Laura and I were completely drenches by the rain, but that makes it all the better. I plan on going again soon!

In other news, I am still waiting to hear from The Biggest Loser about my application. I am praying desperately that I get on the show. I need it! In the mean time, I have resolve to exercise every day this week and really get back on the wagon with my diet. No more cheating!
We shall see...I'll try and update here as to my progress and whether or not I have reached my goal.

I think I'm going through Jeanine withdrawl....I miss you, dearest!